I take my current grief during a break up of a relationship of 4 years, as an opportunity to practice looking at my pain as an altered state.
One I can sit with and respect and at some point even enjoy.
Release could feel good, even if it's painful or intense. But we’re taught to breath it away and control our emotions.
I wish instead we would have learnt that the pain is exactly what needs to happen to move grief through our body and complete it. Otherwise it just gets stored. Ready to be triggered by your job, the mailman, your boss, your next partner.
This morning I could feel my grief.
I had yet to crumble.
I had stuff to do and had decided that I would feel feelings later.
Yet, the longer I waited the scarier it got. I could feel tension in my body build and bubble, threaten to cascade out of me at any moment.
So I finally let it. I went to the room, on the bed, got on my knees and invited it out. I encouraged it. Instead of being unbearably afraid of the depths of it. I repeatedly connected to the part of me that knows I have gotten through this pain before.
I allowed the physical aspects of grief move through my body.
I moved my hips and let myself moan in sorrowful release. I focused on the sensation and on reiterating to myself that I can hold it.
This lasts 10 minutes. My face salty and wet. I lay down exhausted.
A small victory. I held the sorrow. And I have to say it has changed everything for me.
Now I see grief comes in cycles.
And...
If I resist it- it last all day, all week, keeps me up at night as I fight it off.
If I invite it, focus on my body, the physical sensations, allow sound to come out of me- it’s over in 10 minutes and I feel so much lighter afterwards.
Lighter and confident that I can hold this pain because our bodies are genius and won't give us more than we can actually handle. It might FEEL like we’ll crack and shatter and not survive the grief.
But your body knows what you can handle. And when it brings us pain, sorrow, grief, it's so that we feel and complete it.
It’s yet another practice on surrendering to my nature, to the wild, animal, primal parts of me that know how to process and survive instictively.
I have coaching spots open. If you want to to translate your pain to something important that you might even be able to appreciate and enjoy- connect with me and see what working together would look like.
I've made my coaching packages quite special. Personlized treats sent to your door, practices uniquely made for you, journaling (if it excites you), and lots of space to focus on what you want.
Coaching has changed my life. I can hold my heartbreak with fascination because of this work. It's an absolute pleasure to be able to offer it back, to be of service to you, and sprinkle in some magic.
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