What makes kink different from abuse is : Clarity and Consent
We can apply many of the strategies used to negotiate a long term kinky relationships with someone- to your long term relationship with money. You know I like treating money as if it were a person I want more of in my life.
That’s probably because due to several things… things like conditioning, or to the fact that it is admired and encouraged to care about people (especially for women- but also for all other genders). It is not so admired to be a person/woman that cares immensely about money. So for me and the majority of the people I work with, treating money like a person is A LOT easier than just treating it like a material I’m chasing.
We can apply our well-practiced tools around relating to other people - to pretty much all of our other relationships… Relationships with our bodies, our selves, our purpose, money, etc. — In this example, we’ll apply THE BIG LEAGUES of communication (a.k.a. kink) to show how this philosophy applies. If you came to me wanting to establish a long term kinky relationship with your partner, we would start with clarity. I would get you to be clear about what you want.
I would get you to play around and explore online (Pinterest) to see what’s possible for you. What you like, what you DO NOT like. What you maybe could like. We would then do some work to get clear on your conscious and unconscious desires and see whether they are coming from any unattended to trauma. We would then tend to the trauma. See if it shifts any desires (both conscious and unconscious).
Then we would make a plan. One uniquely tailored to you and your desires for your life. We keep it simple, we keep it playful, we surround it with rewards, with compassion, with patience, and support. Then we allow flexibility to adapt, to experience things we thought we wanted and change our minds, to consciously experience edgier things we thought we would NEVER want - and allow our selves to want it and explore it.
We try and find the gift of humor in every failed attempt. And then try again with whatever we learned about ourselves. THIS ALL APPLIES TO MONEY. Get clear on what you want with money.
Play around, explore online what’s possible for you with money.
Get clear on your conscious and unconscious desires with money.
Tend to the trauma around money.
Make a plan tailored just for you and your desires.
Keep it simple, playful, surround it with rewards, compassion, patience, and support.
Then allow that flexibility to adapt. Change your mind.
Try some edgier things you thought you never would. Find the gift of HUMOR. And try again.
Tomorrow’s subject is sensationalism and how to raise your tolerance for the unbearable, make it kinky, and even (dare I say it) enjoy it
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